*The first interview with Charlie Woods

*OK, not really. But if Tiger's son did meet the media, here's how it might go.

Tiger Woods and his 11-year-old son Charlie shared the spotlight at last weekend’s PNC Championship. But only Tiger met the media for post-round interviews, so we never got a chance to hear from Charlie … until now.

Or at least, this is how we imagine an interview with Charlie might go.

Congratulations on an impressive week. You were the talk of the entire golf world.

I don’t know why. We came in seventh. That sucks. As my dad always says, “Winning takes care of everything.” Well, we didn’t even come close. To make things worse, Justin Thomas and his old man won. Now I’ve gotta listen to JT give me crap for the next few months. You’d think he’d pick on somebody his own age.

Yes, but weren’t you having fun?

Fun is winning. It’s the only thing that matters. You realize Tiger Woods is my dad, right?

Good point. Still, for an 11-year-old, you produced some terrific shots and showed incredible poise.

I didn’t have a choice. Dad told me I’d better bring my “A” game or he was going to cut my allowance in half. He called it “incentivizing” but I’m not sure what he meant. I think that’s an 8th-grade word. All I know is that the latest Spider-Man video game costs 50 bucks, so I need all the money I can get.

I would think you could get video games for free. After all, your dad used to have his own game with EA Sports.

Yeah, used to. I was 4 years old when his last game came out. Hell, that was two generations ago on PlayStation. Ancient piece of crap if you ask me.

Hey, watch the salty language.

Sorry. Been hanging around my dad too much at the golf course.

I understand. I would’ve thought he or your mom could just give you the video game as a Christmas present.

You’d think so, right? But no, it’s probably gonna be a bunch of clothes. You saw what I was wearing out there on the course. Just smaller sizes of what my dad wears. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have to pay for any of that stuff. I’ve already shaken some of the presents under our tree and nothing broke, so I’m thinking he just wrapped up a few free golf shirts and called it a day. Seems like a pretty cheap out for a guy making $62.3 million this year.

How do you know what your dad makes?

It was in Forbes’ list of the highest-paid athletes in the world in 2020.

You read Forbes?

It’s required reading at our school. There’s some pretty rich people where we live.

No doubt. I’m sure Palm Beach County has plenty of millionaires.

I’m not talking the county. I’m talking about my older sister Sam. Her allowance is bigger than mine. Doesn’t seem fair since she’s more interested in soccer than golf. I don’t see her out there busting her butt in front of millions of people on TV. Think I’m gonna ask for a raise the next time I take out the trash.

Yes, well, maybe we should get back to golf. Did you enjoy playing with your dad?

You mean, did I enjoy having to carry him on my back for two days? You think the guy who’s won 15 majors and 82 Tour events might want to contribute a little bit more than the kid who recently finished reading “Goosebumps.” Geez, I spent the last week studying for a math exam. The last thing I needed was to waste every friggin’ hour on the range in hopes of getting five extra yards with the driver. But he said we needed to take advantage of me playing off the front tees. Saved us 1,900 yards by my calculations. Speaking of which, I aced that math test.

Congrats. I did notice that some of your drives were so long, your dad didn’t even bother to hit his own tee shots.

Yeah, I flushed a few. Suck it, Bryson.

And you must’ve been really happy with the eagle on the third hole. Your first one, I believe.

Driver, 5-wood to 4 feet. To be honest, dad was more excited than I was. Heck, I was just hoping he’d let me have ice cream after the round.

Although you never showed it, did you ever feel nervous out there?

Not really. It was just like playing with dad at home. Besides, it’s not as if I just picked up the game yesterday. I’ve been swinging a club since I was 4. I played in my first golf tournament at age 6. I’ve won a few Junior Tour events back home. This isn’t amateur hour around here.

But you are an amateur!

Maybe not for long. My dad was 20 when he turned pro. I’m figuring 18 or 19 for me. I’m thinking this golf thing could help me get out of a few biology exams when I get older. Not exactly looking forward to the whole dissecting-the-frog thing. But I just gotta hope the old man doesn’t screw up my swing with too much advice. You know how parents can be. By the way, you got Hank Haney’s phone number?

Uh, no, sorry. Well, it was nice chatting with you. Good luck with your future. Hope to see you in another big event soon.

It probably won’t be for awhile. Dad says I need to practice hitting a stinger. Says it’ll help me win multiple majors. I don’t know about that, but if it helps me take a few bucks off of JT the next time we play Medalist, then it’ll be worth it.

Wait, you gamble when you play golf?

Those video games aren’t paying for themselves.